Have you ever had a moment in your life where something strange happened, that could not be explained? I think we all have, really, but the real question is…did it make you stop and think or did you just go on about your life, thinking “hmm, that was weird.”
As seen in my previous blogs, I recently had what I can only describe as a spiritual awakening, which came on after a severe episode of depression. I literally felt the Holy Spirit surrounding me. For the first time in my life (even though I have been a Christian for 25 years) I FELT the Holy Spirit and knew what I was supposed to be doing. That five minutes of one day changed my entire life. Since that day, I have faithfully prayed and kept my nose in God’s word, searching for things that could help me determine what God was giving me…and better yet, how to use it.
I did a spiritual gifts study which told me my 3 spiritual gifts (it even had a quiz and everything) were prophecy, discernment, and knowledge. As soon as I saw prophecy, I actually laughed out loud. Me, a prophet? Hahahahahahaha, that’s a good one. Me, sinner extraordinaire, well there’s just no way on earth I could be a prophet. I am a nobody. Prophets were people like Moses, Elijah, Elisha, Ezekiel, Isaiah, who were men of importance, relaying God’s message. I am nobody of importance. I don’t have some great hotline to God, my prayers don’t mean more than yours. How could I be a prophet? I dismissed this, thinking it must have been the way I answered the questions because I am an empath. I sense emotions, feel other people’s struggles, and am able to connect easily with others. So, of course, this silly little test would pick up on that and declare me to have the gift of prophecy. I even discussed it with a few people, but still did not really believe it.
One night few weeks later, I woke up at 3am after having a terrible dream. I dreamed that a friend of mine was in the hospital for a problem with her heart. It was discovered when she had a panic attack and had gone to the hospital thinking it was a heart attack. The panic attack was brought on by the fact that she had learned someone was hurting her child. Now, this friend was someone I hadn’t really talked to in a while. It was someone I deeply loved and respected, but time and distance interfered and we weren’t really in much contact. I woke up with a horrible feeling, almost a guilty feeling, for dreaming something horrible was happening to her child. I’ve had very specific dreams before, a few even came true in some aspect, but this one was different. It weighed heavily on me and took me a long time to get back to sleep. When I finally woke in the morning, I immediately went back to it. I wrote it down, something I had never felt compelled to do. I reached out to a few trusted friends (prayer warriors) to ask what they thought about that…should I tell this person about what I dreamed? I received mixed responses. Yes, you should, because that could be something that is going to happen and maybe you could stop it. No, you shouldn’t, it was just a dream and she’s going to think you are certifiable. Yes, but just start out by asking how she is, and go into it slowly. Ask if everything is okay, maybe she’ll tell you. No matter what they told me, I couldn’t get the feeling off of my chest so I just went for it and told her something like this: I know this sounds crazy, and I know you are going to think I am crazy for telling you this, but I have to tell you about this dream I had. It was so bad that I would feel guilty if I didn’t tell you, and it actually happened, I would not be able to live with myself. I told her everything, and waited for the response of “okay, now that’s just weird and I’m not sure we should be friends anymore.” That is not what happened.
She immediately responded and told me that what I saw about her child had actually happened a few weeks before, but she hadn’t told anyone. As far as the heart problem, her heart was physically fine and she had actually just been to the doctor a few days before. I could not believe what I was hearing, though. How had I known about that? There is no earthly explanation for it. She then revealed to me that she was so angry at that person, she felt like she could never forgive them. At that moment, I knew that the heart problem I had seen, was symbolic for that anger in her heart. I then felt compelled to tell her that she needed to take her anger to the Lord, give it to Him, and heal her heart before it caused permanent damage. I remember telling her that this was the reason God had given me insight into her situation…to remind her to come to Him with her problems. She responded with the highest praise I could have ever hoped to receive: “Keep obeying, because you are making a difference and giving hope that we aren’t alone in this. I needed that reminder because I just feel lost.”
I screenshotted that on my phone because it meant so much to me. It proved to me that God had used me, ME, to minister to this person. It was then I realized, that God had given me this dream to get my attention. He basically said “Hey you! Pay attention, I have something to say. Since you didn’t believe before, now I am going to give you proof, so you cannot doubt.” Like with Biblical prophets and disciples, He had given them signs and wonders so they would believe.
I had scoffed at that thought before with the silly little quiz saying I had the gift of prophecy. I wasn’t scoffing anymore. That flipped some little switch inside my brain that said “God is speaking to you, you just have to listen.” Since that day, I have been dreaming non-stop, very specific dreams with very specific messages. I write them all down and seek guidance from a pastor friend who has a gift for interpreting dreams. It is still kind of freaking me out because I don’t know what they mean, but I know they mean something. Maybe not right now, but in the near future.
Please know that I am not crazy. I am not claiming to be a prophet with some “great message from God.” That is not what is happening here. I don’t really know what is happening, but I don’t think it is that. What I think is that I am being given these dreams as forewarnings of things to come, whether they be spiritual things or real-world things. One night I dreamed of a war in a city, where I was protected from the fallout of a missile by octagon-shaped glass shards falling all around me. The following night I dreamed of a tree whose leaves had numbers on them, the number 8 showing up over and over, and the state line sign of Maine, which I was not allowed to cross into. The number 8 keeps showing up in my dreams now, along with signs of destruction and rebirth. What is God trying to tell me now? Any clues??
My prayer for today: Lord, I thank you for all blessings you have given me and my loved ones. I thank you for our lives, my faith and love for you, and your direction that you keep giving me. I pray also that you give me the wisdom to discern the meanings of these dreams, extract the messages, and use them according to your will. I will continue to glorify you by obeying your Word, listening for further instructions, and re-entering the church community as you have directed me to do. Lord I ask you to help me find a local church who studies the Bible, and a pastor who is willing to counsel me and help me grow in your gifts and in service to you. Lord please protect all those in harms way overseas, our military, our President and his family, and all those who love you. Thank you Lord for sending your son Jesus to save us from spiritual death and instead leading us to eternal life with you. I ask that you help me seek to bring others to you, so they can see the glory as I have, and keep the desire for you in their hearts. All this I ask in Jesus name, Amen.